Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Bedtime Stories


According to last week’s poll on the subject, I seem to have a mandate to post a snarky, quippy rundown of the probable bedtime prowess of some of my favorite Kdrama characters.

No matter how many people voted, the ratio always stayed about the same: 90 percent of visitors were in favor of me besmirching my soul with naughty discussion on the topic of lovemaking and the Kdrama male, and 10 percent were not. (What kind of funny math Google uses in its Blogger polls is another issue altogether.)

To the 10 percent: I apologize. And to the 90 percent, I also apologize.




“Get off, you jerk.
Gross! I didn’t mean it that way...”


Answer Me, 1997, Yoon Yoon Jae: Well, we know Si Won didn’t find him all that memorable...

Big, Kang Kyung Joon: Once Gil Da Ran resolves some sticky questions (e.g., Is it illegal and/or cradle robbing if he’s currently inhabiting the body of an adult?), I’m sure he’d come through for her.

Boys over Flowers, Goo Joon Pyo: Easily frustrated and sometimes childish, it would be a rocky start. I’m sure things would take a turn for the better once he got some practical advice from his more experienced friends.

Cheongdamdong Alice, Cha Seung Jo: He rushes to kiss. He rushes to propose. What else would he rush?

“I love you, Choi Han Gyul.
And so does some random blogger named Amanda”


Coffee Prince, Choi Han Gyul: He loves Eun Chan for exactly who she is, and he’ll do anything for her. A good time will almost certainly be had by all.

Flower Boy Next Door, Enrique Geum: This show has taught Enrique that being slow and patient is the best way into a woman’s heart. Being a quick study, he’d eventually realize this applies to other body parts as well.

A Gentleman’s Dignity really captions itself, doesn’t it?

A Gentleman’s Dignity, Kim Do Jin: If you’re into bondage, he’s the man for you—his love for making girls powerless and uncomfortable probably carries over into his bedroom habits.

Heartstrings, Lee Shin: He’s pushy, domineering, and wants to control his female lead as if she were a child. Sorry, Lee Kyu Won—good thing Enrique Geum is in your future, huh?

I Do, I Do, Park Tae Kang: Young, eager, and grateful isn’t a bad combination in the bedroom, or anywhere else.

I Miss You, Han Jung Woo: Everything would be fine until he screamed your mother’s name. Then, not so much.

“I’m not visiting you in prison if you get caught
sleeping with an underage starlet. Just FYI.”

I Need Romance, Kim Sung Soo: Frank and candid about what he likes and what you might like. A great communicator often means great sex—too bad about that whole cheating thing.

I Need Romance, 2011, Yoon Suk Hyun: Prone to secret keeping and the silent treatment. What’s the fun in that?

King2Hearts, Prince Lee Jae Ha: He’d better be good, because the pressure to produce an heir and a spare would be pretty intense. Even shagging gets old if you do too much of it.

Ma Boy, Irene/Hyun Wo: What do women want? After pretending to be one for more than a year, he might just have an idea. You’d probably get tired of him wanting to wear your heels all the time, though.

Nice Guy, Kang Maru: He’s a former gigolo. You know what they say—Practice makes perfect.


“I don’t care how important he is to you—
If he tries to conduct this, I’m out of here.”

Operation Proposal, Kang Baek Ho: Skip it. You’d be too busy worrying that his creepy dead dad was watching from the other side to enjoy yourself.

Padam Padam, Lee Gook Soo: In America we have something called the Mile High Club. He’s got the wings for it, among other things.

Pasta, Choi Hyung Wook: Demanding and bossy (think John Hamm in the beginning of Bridesmaids), but he could make you a killer spaghetti e olio afterward.

Playful Kiss, Baek Seung Jo: Selfish and hypercritical are not the key personality traits of a great lover. (On the other hand, the show establishes that he’s good at everything he does without putting in any effort whatsoever...so maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all.)


“What do you mean? How do you know I’ll love it?”

Secret Garden, Kim Joo Won: Once again, practice would win the day. We know what he was really doing with himself every off-screen second he was in her body.

Queen In-hyun’s Man, Kim Bong Do: After he bones up on the subject at the local library, you’ll be good to go with this dreamy Joseon scholar.

The Snow Queen, Han Tae Woong: There’s at least one person will who will never know, because she decided to die a virgin instead. Sigh.

Soulmate, Shin Dong Wook: No feedback required—he can literally read your mind.

Spring Waltz, Yoon Jae Ha: Pianists know what to do with their hands, right?

Spring Waltz, Philip: He looks so great, it may not even matter if he’s any good.

Sungkyunkwan Scandal, Lee Sun Joon: After reading all those dirty books and spending episode after episode staring at her lips, we know where things would start off. I suspect this also means they’d end up well, though.

Clearly true, especially if by “side” he’s referring to “side of the bed.”

Sungkyunkwan Scandal, Moon Jae Shin: The night of your life, if you could ever pry him away from Goo Yong Ha.

Sungkyunkwan Scandal, Goo Yong Ha: The night of your life, if you could ever him away from Moon Jae Shin.

The World That They Live In, Jeong Ji Oh: He’d want to tape it, and that shit always ends up on the Internet.

15 comments:

  1. Really, really good Amanda! We'll have to get you to do more of these.

    Oh, by the way, I started a blog. It's called Korean Mania by Elaine. I don't try to review dramas, just talk about them and my personal experiences relating to my obsession. I leave the "professional reviews" to you. If you have a chance check it out.

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    Replies
    1. Congratulations for joining the true ranks of obsessive Kdrama fans, those who are actually insane enough to blog about it ;) What's the link? I'd love to read it.

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    2. Please remember it's my first time! http://mejackson1.blogspot.com/

      Also, ladies, to put a bit of a downer on the topic, I recently saw a compilation of penis size by country and, unfortunately, Korean men don't score very high. This is a short 14 second You Tube video that says it all. Of course that won't stop my fantasies!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-UDOv2Hp6g

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  2. how about eric in que sera sera? one of the sexiest dramas, i think. you should also check out jo in sung! H.O.T.! both in what happened in bali and that winter, the wind blows. :)

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    Replies
    1. I actually thought Eric in Que Sera Sera would be good for the same reasons as Kang Maru...he was a pro, so must have some mad skills. (Also, he's so outlandishly hot I'm surprised my TV didn't melt in response to all the kissing scenes.)

      I didn't really like What Happened in Bali (and I bet both the male leads were terrible lays, on top of the show being icky), but I'm definitely looking forward to Jo In Sung in That Winter, the Wind Blows. He looks like he stepped out of a painting by a Dutch Master in the promos.

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  3. That whole body switch thing did make me wonder maaaany a time.. Lol. I love how you give SKKS three shots to get it right xD

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    1. They made such a big deal out of showering in Secret Garden, but how about all the other bodily functions he might have been involved with? The funniest possible scene would have involved her schooling him on the fine art of tampon use.

      I have never spent so much time dwelling on this post's topic as I did when watching SKKS =X (At least I didn't sink so low here as to discuss the possibility of all three at once. Which was under rather avid consideration at the time.)

      (Wait! I just sunk that low!)

      (Damn.)

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  4. There's a few others that I thought were in the "a good time will be had by all" category: JG and SMR in City Hall (in fact, Kim Sun Ah and any of her co-stars), the second leads (JJ and Wang Ji-hye) in Protect the Boss, the leads in Prosecutor Princess and SUFBB, and the OTP from the TD, My Queen.
    On the other hand, there are a few that I know would be disastrous: the leads in You're Beautiful, for example, are mind-numbingly incompatible, as are the leads in Pasta, Heartstrings (now there's a disaster in the making) and Shining Inheritance. Some of our gentlemen just have too many issues to deal with, such as the leads in Who Are You, Rooftop Prince, Personal Taste, and City Hunter, and some of the ladies are just too stiff to ever unbend; the actresses that fall into this category for me are Park Min Young, Park Shin Hye, Kim Ha Neul,Choi Jin Shil, and Gong Hyo-Jin.

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    Replies
    1. I still haven't seen City Hall, but I definitely agree about Protect the Boss. (And Jaejong in general. That's a boy with dedication!)

      Who Are You would be sick, sick, sick. Talk about worrying about fathers being in attendance :b

      I think Gong Hyo-Jin and the male lead from Greatest Love would have had some fun. After all, she was all about having a new baby at the end. We know how that happens.

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    2. Well, that was the thing about Greatest Love - I felt it was all on Cha Seung Won's shoulders to provide the heat in that show. After seeing him interact with Kim Sun Ah in City Hall, it was a big letdown.

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  5. "The Snow Queen, Han Tae Woong: There’s at least one person will who will never know, because she decided to die a virgin instead. Sigh."

    THIS! Poor guy, huh? :P

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  6. LOL! Fun post! Love that the 90-10 voting ratio held up throughout XD now you KNOW what your readers like, heh!

    Besides my love for both characters played by Gong Yoo, my favorites were your SKKS ones! <3 All 3 of 'em ;)

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