Tuesday, February 26, 2013

A selection of ways in which my life is different from a Korean drama

Flower Boy Next Door: That looks cozy, Enrique! (Or not.)
#100
Items required to sleep comfortably. . .

Kdrama
  • None. Kdrama characters can sleep anywhere, anytime, whether they’re on a moving bus, sitting on a bench in a public park, or lying on the floor of a stranger’s bedroom.
My life
  • my own bed
  • a hair tie
  • a box of tissues
  • my carpel-tunnel wrist brace
  • Non-binding pajamas suitable for the room’s ambient temperature
  • a Pandora-enabled clock radio tuned to the solo piano genre station (sleep timer set at 30 minutes)
  • nightlight in the next room burning, but turned to “dim” setting




That Winter: If my lips were that luscious,
I’m sure I could apply lipstick even if I were blind, too.

#6
Getting ready for work in the morning requires…

Kdrama
  • mini-skirt (6 inches or shorter)
  • frilly shirt and frillier blazer
  • assorted undergarments and hose
  • spike heels that would make even Lady Gaga weep with terror
  • $475 USD worth of makeup, including but not limited to: foundation, eyeliner, lipstick, blush, circle lenses, and false eyelashes
  • barrettes, bracelets, rings, earrings, and at least two necklaces

My life
  • Jeans
  • sweater
  • assorted undergarments and socks
  • comfortable shoes
  • hand lotion

Protect the Boss: Or maybe this is how the gauze got there?
#79
When entering an elevator, the first thing you notice is. . .

Kdrama
  • Your archnemesis, your first love, and/or someone with whom you share a long, embarrassing history. (NB: One individual will often represent all three categories.)

My life
  • A bloody wad of gauze left behind by some unfortunate patient of the dentist down the hall.

Nice Guy: “Don’t worry. I’m sure the maid will bring more side dishes soon.”

#3
A typical weeknight dinner consists of. . .

Kdrama
  • rice
  • kimchi
  • soup
  • noodles
  • three or four vegetable side dishes

My life
  • leftover Kraft macaroni and cheese
  • a few bread-and-butter pickles, skewered on a fork and eaten right out of the jar while standing in front of the fridge

Family’s Honor: “Ajumma! More soju, please.
 Can’t you see that everyone at this table is still conscious?”

#222
A night out on the town involves. . .

Kdrama
  • organ meats eaten sitting in plastic chairs at a street vender
  • drinking soju until someone pukes
  • singing at the norebang until dawn
  • being piggybacked home by your big crush (or that guy you totally hate…yet find strangely attractive)

My life
  • eating at the same restaurant my friends and I have frequented since high school, and ordering the same dish I ate in tenth grade
  • getting tipsy after taking two sips of somebody else’s margarita
  • watching the latest YA romance at our local movie theater
  • being home and in bed by 10:45


A Gentleman’s Dignity: “Attracted to you? You must be kidding.
Thanks for the rice ball, though.”
#897
Items procured during a typical convenience-store visit…

Kdrama
(all intended for immediate consumption, while leaning on a counter near the store’s window)
  • ramen
  • riceball
  • potato chips
  • banana milk
My life
  • gas, self-serve
  • takeaway coffee

Equator Man: That’s the money shot, all right.

#15
When a glass full of water is left unattended, the most probable outcome is. . .

Kdrama
  • Two people arrive and begin arguing heatedly. Eventually, one of them throws the water in the other’s face

My life
  • My cat knocks the glass over and drinks from the resulting puddle

Let’s Go to the Beach: “No, nobody ever wears their shoes in here.
So I guess the floor should actually be pretty clean. Still, I wash it every day just to be safe.”

#99
Housework entails. . .

Kdrama
  • Daily dusting and washing the floor on one’s hands and knees

My life
  • Extremely sporadic dusting, and an occasional pass with the vacuum when I start noticing cat-fur based tumbleweeds in the living room

What’s Up, Fox?: “My mom locked me in because she disapproves of my lifestyle.
I could consider moving out, but let’s just hug through the window instead.”
#452
A thirty-something singleton discusses a possible promotion at work with her mother, resulting in. . .

Kdrama
  • Mom locks daughter in her bedroom without food, water, or bathroom access until the daughter agrees to quit her job and marry the first guy she can dig up with decent family credentials and an impressive-sounding job.

My life
  • Mom begins every conversation on the topic with “I don’t want to influence your decision. You’re a grownup; it’s your choice.”


One Fine Day: “It’s so convenient that I can still call you Oppa
even though you’re my boyfriend now, not my brother.”
#911
Upon running into a first love unexpectedly. . .

Kdrama
  • Their eyes meet across a crowded sidewalk. Although they don’t immediately recognize each other, they feel drawn together
  • A day later, they meet again when her high heel breaks on the way to work
  • They fall back in love
  • Temporarily, they become convinced that they’re brother and sister. Eventually they realize their connection is even more amazing: they met once when they were children because his sister’s college roommate’s uncle’s best friend from when he studied abroad is her dad. Even during the years that passed, they never forgot that golden afternoon by the lake

My life
  • I try to hide
  • I pretend I don’t recognize him
  • When he says my name and I have no choice, I acknowledge his existence
  • He shows me baby pictures of his kids. Many of them also include his beautiful wife, who once intentionally tripped me when we were ice skating in gym class


(P.S.: I normally don’t cite images because it’s impossible to tell their original source through Google images. In the case of Let’s Go to the Beach, though, this image is only found on one blog: Dramas Whoo. So snaps to them for picking a rare show and scene.)

15 comments:

  1. This was all sorts of hilarity! I love these creative posts. Hope you're well - been trying to get in touch with you. Hit me up when you have a chance <3

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  2. Much as I sometimes wish I had a nice enough wardrobe like a Kdrama girl's work outfit, I'm sincerely grateful for the days when I can throw on a pair of warm pants a cozy if overlarge sweater, throw my hair into a frizzy bun, a bit of power and some chapstick. If I've got the time, maybe a pair of earings that I put on in the car.

    Man I'm glad I'm not a Korean housewife though. I barely wash the dishes every other day.. and I mop once ever 4 months. Or whenever Thanksgiving comes around..

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  3. Can you imagine being the wife of a first born son, like in Sweet 18! Not only do you marry the guy and his whole family you practically become a slave for your mother-in-law (or in the case of Sweet 18 the sister-in-law since there was no mother). Anyway, I would flunk for sure!

    And I want a piggy back ride!! The fact that I would break the guy's back since I'm no light weight doesn't seem to matter. Like when Eun Chan carried Choi Han Gyul all the way to his rooftop apartment up flights of stairs!

    I can't wait to see what other scenarios my talented co-horts on this blog come up with.

    Another winner Amanda!

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  4. Too funny!! XD Loved this post! Keep up the awesome, Amanda! :D

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  5. Your life sounds like my life :D

    Great post! Love your sense of humor!

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  6. ㅋㅋㅋㅋ Love this post! One thing I was thinking of, K-drama heroines and how mobile they are in heels.

    K-drama: Heroine can run around the city at length, sometimes all day in 5 inch heels, and not get sore feet.

    My life: 5 inch heels...are you kidding me? Well, okay, I can manage 4 inch heels for a few hours, if I'm sitting most of the time.

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  7. THIS. I love your blog. It makes me all sorts of happy!

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  8. Do you really see blood in the elevator everyday? Whoa, scary. I don't like blood. *runs away*

    Also what does the number represent? I thought it was a lenghty list when I say #100. This is really funny though. Although my life is different than yours, though not more exciting. Yours is probably better since you have a cat. I want one but I loathe taking care of anything. I'm a last year college student. My life consists of sitting down for long hours in front of my laptop (may or may not be spent working on my thesis) worrying about my possible nightmare of a future.

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    Replies
    1. Not every day, but sometimes. It's the peril of working near a dentist's office. (Even worse, we sometimes hear little kids screaming from in there.)

      The number is meant to make you think that I actually have some incredibly giant list of ways my life is different from a Korean drama, and that I only picked a few at random to include here. Apparently it didn't work ;)

      And the reason why I have a cat is I fear commitment—a little food, a little water, it's good to go forever. I could never be dependable enough to have a dog.

      Sad news, from a graduate with a job: my life consists of practically the same thing, only with work replacing the thesis.

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  9. LOL this was pretty amusing... and so true XD

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  10. Just discovered your blog today and have been perusing as one would do before buying a house and I've decided: I'll definitely be staying! Hahahaha I'm a silent visitor of most of the blogs I follow, but this stuff here is just too good to not show my appreciation!

    Hilarious! Can't wait to read the rest of the articles on your site!


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    Replies
    1. Welcome home, then. I hope you like the neighborhood ;)

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  11. I laughed out loud at your description of my...er, your life.

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  12. Teeth Night Guard is offering personalized fitting and high quality customized dental guards.

    ReplyDelete