A selection of ways in which my life is different from a Korean drama

Flower Boy Next Door: That looks cozy, Enrique! (Or not.)

#100

Items required to sleep comfortably. . .

Kdrama

• None. Kdrama characters can sleep anywhere, anytime, whether they’re on a moving bus, sitting on a bench in a public park, or lying on the floor of a stranger’s bedroom.

My life

• my own bed
• a hair tie
• a box of tissues
• my carpel-tunnel wrist brace
• Non-binding pajamas suitable for the room’s ambient temperature
• a Pandora-enabled clock radio tuned to the solo piano genre station (sleep timer set at 30 minutes)
• nightlight in the next room burning, but turned to “dim” setting

That Winter: If my lips were that luscious,
I’m sure I could apply lipstick even if I were blind, too.

#6

Getting ready for work in the morning requires…

Kdrama

• mini-skirt (6 inches or shorter)
• frilly shirt and frillier blazer
• assorted undergarments and hose
• spike heels that would make even Lady Gaga weep with terror
• $475 USD worth of makeup, including but not limited to: foundation, eyeliner, lipstick, blush, circle lenses, and false eyelashes
• barrettes, bracelets, rings, earrings, and at least two necklaces

My life

• Jeans
• sweater
• assorted undergarments and socks
• comfortable shoes
• hand lotion

Protect the Boss: Or maybe this is how the gauze got there?

#79

When entering an elevator, the first thing you notice is. . .

Kdrama

• Your archnemesis, your first love, and/or someone with whom you share a long, embarrassing history. (NB: One individual will often represent all three categories.)

My life

• A bloody wad of gauze left behind by some unfortunate patient of the dentist down the hall.

Nice Guy: “Don’t worry. I’m sure the maid will bring more side dishes soon.”

#3

A typical weeknight dinner consists of. . .

Kdrama

• rice
• kimchi
• soup
• noodles
• three or four vegetable side dishes

My life

• leftover Kraft macaroni and cheese
• a few bread-and-butter pickles, skewered on a fork and eaten right out of the jar while standing in front of the fridge

Family’s Honor: “Ajumma! More soju, please.
 Can’t you see that everyone at this table is still conscious?”

#222

A night out on the town involves. . .

Kdrama

• organ meats eaten sitting in plastic chairs at a street vender
• drinking soju until someone pukes
• singing at the norebang until dawn
• being piggybacked home by your big crush (or that guy you totally hate…yet find strangely attractive)

My life

• eating at the same restaurant my friends and I have frequented since high school, and ordering the same dish I ate in tenth grade
• getting tipsy after taking two sips of somebody else’s margarita
• watching the latest YA romance at our local movie theater
• being home and in bed by 10:45

A Gentleman’s Dignity: “Attracted to you? You must be kidding.
Thanks for the rice ball, though.”

#897

Items procured during a typical convenience-store visit…

Kdrama

(all intended for immediate consumption, while leaning on a counter near the store’s window)

• ramen
• riceball
• potato chips
• banana milk

My life

• gas, self-serve
• takeaway coffee

Equator Man: That’s the money shot, all right.

#15

When a glass full of water is left unattended, the most probable outcome is. . .

Kdrama

• Two people arrive and begin arguing heatedly. Eventually, one of them throws the water in the other’s face

My life

• My cat knocks the glass over and drinks from the resulting puddle

Let’s Go to the Beach: “No, nobody ever wears their shoes in here.
So I guess the floor should actually be pretty clean. Still, I wash it every day just to be safe.”

#99

Housework entails. . .

Kdrama

• Daily dusting and washing the floor on one’s hands and knees

My life

• Extremely sporadic dusting, and an occasional pass with the vacuum when I start noticing cat-fur based tumbleweeds in the living room

What’s Up, Fox?: “My mom locked me in because she disapproves of my lifestyle.
I could consider moving out, but let’s just hug through the window instead.”

#452

A thirty-something singleton discusses a possible promotion at work with her mother, resulting in. . .

Kdrama

• Mom locks daughter in her bedroom without food, water, or bathroom access until the daughter agrees to quit her job and marry the first guy she can dig up with decent family credentials and an impressive-sounding job.

My life

• Mom begins every conversation on the topic with “I don’t want to influence your decision. You’re a grownup; it’s your choice.”

One Fine Day: “It’s so convenient that I can still call you Oppa
even though you’re my boyfriend now, not my brother.”

#911

Upon running into a first love unexpectedly. . .

Kdrama

• Their eyes meet across a crowded sidewalk. Although they don’t immediately recognize each other, they feel drawn together
• A day later, they meet again when her high heel breaks on the way to work
• They fall back in love
• Temporarily, they become convinced that they’re brother and sister. Eventually they realize their connection is even more amazing: they met once when they were children because his sister’s college roommate’s uncle’s best friend from when he studied abroad is her dad. Even during the years that passed, they never forgot that golden afternoon by the lake

My life

• I try to hide
• I pretend I don’t recognize him
• When he says my name and I have no choice, I acknowledge his existence
• He shows me baby pictures of his kids. Many of them also include his beautiful wife, who once intentionally tripped me when we were ice skating in gym class

(P.S.: I normally don’t cite images because it’s impossible to tell their original source through Google images. In the case of Let’s Go to the Beach, though, this image is only found on one blog: Dramas Whoo. So snaps to them for picking a rare show and scene.)